When we remodeled my bathroom a few years ago, it took five people to get the cast iron bathtub out of the house and onto the lawn. It was heavy and awkward and built for an apocalypse.
In the dead of summer, sitting in the bathtub on the front lawn, I watched the new plastic tub get hoisted over someone’s shoulders and eased into the doorway with no problem. And I thought, “They just don’t make things the way they used to.” My cast iron bathtub could’ve lived another hundred years. The house was built in– you guessed it– 1973.
Retro Slime Company is a blast from the past, for sure. It gives you a sense of nostalgia and smells like childhood, but the real reason you should buy our slimes is that we have that retro quality; we’re made better, and we’re built to last.
Our stance at retro is to use the highest quality of ingredients. We’re the Mary Quant of slime. If it’s time for breakfast, we’re taking you to Tiffany’s if you catch our drift. For example, if our products call for some lotion, we’re picking Lubriderm. We’re not picking out bulk drug store lotion to save a buck. We know that quality products come from quality ingredients.
I love a good Costco pie as much as anyone, but there’s nothing better than my mother-in-law’s homemade Texas chocolate cake from a recipe passed down from the back of an old Betty Crocker box in the early 60s. We’re homemade, not manufactured. There’s a little love and care and elbow grease in each one of our slimes. Manufactured slime is like a Twinkie. Sure, they have a shelf life of 500 years, but they taste a little rubbery and aren’t nearly as good as something fresh.
We give you everything you need to keep your slimes long-lasting and in great condition. While most companies give you powdered Borox, we send ours pre-made in liquid form. Most don’t know that it’s the breathing in of the powdered Borox that can be harmful. We keep your safety first. We’re also one of the only companies to send a slime softener, and ours does not contain any vinegar, so there is no off-putting smell.
Retro Slime Company is all about the full experience. From purchase to package to unboxing, we want you to feel like your mom gave you a dollar and set you loose in Montgomery Ward no matter who you are: young, old, man or woman. My vintage Charlie Brown book says, “Happiness is a warm puppy,” but to us, happiness is a box of slime!
