My dad was a crier. He was a big red-headed man with calves built to scale mountains– a true Scotsman– and he cried his big, beefy heart out at the drop of a hat. The minute I walked out in my too-taffeta prom dress: tears. Graduation: tears. The end of the occult classic movie E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial: tears. When my siblings and I all had chicken pox, this is the man who put us in sleeping bags on the floor in front of a TV playing Star Wars Episode IV– A New Hope. We all promptly fell asleep. It’s as if he knew. Fathers are great. Mine was great. Sure, there may be a permanent mold of their body in their favorite recliner, and yeah, he may spend a little too much time at the 19th hole, but it’s Dad! He may not know your teacher’s name, but he probably knows exactly how high is too high on the swing set and how to change your blinker fluid. That’s a joke, Dad! You should know all about those. To celebrate dads on Father’s Day, here’s a list of our favorite retro dads and the slimes that represent them. TV Dinner Fried Chicken Slime Kit: Al Bundy, Married… with Children After a shot-gun wedding to his high school sweetheart, Peggy, Al missed out on capitalizing on his football scholarship and now finds himself the father of a dumb blonde and even dumber jock. He lives his tragi-comedy life to its fullest, complaining about his lot at every turn. We’ve chosen the TV Dinner Fried Chicken Slime Kit to represent Al. Why? He’s the complete package. He’s not quite the full bird, but he’ll do the job for dinner. Even though he sells shoes at minimum wage, he never misses his mortgage payment. Sure, he likes to moan about his wife and kids, but he probably loves them, right? Our TV Dinner comes with your choice of a savory or sweet scent. In addition to the 3 different slime textures, you get two sprinkle packs plus a Firmasof™ butter and foil assembly tray. Woobie Cloud Slime: Jack Butler, Mr. Mom When Jack gets laid off from his engineering job, he lands himself his next greatest role: Mr. Mom. Jack has to get acclimated to life at home, taking care of his son Kenny and his beloved Woobie, a ratty security blanket. Jack is a classic dad, one of the greatest of all time. He takes parenting to the next level with gentle humor and a full head of hair. We’ve chosen our Woobie Slime to represent Jack. Why? Because it’s named after his movie! Our Woobie cloud slime is just as soft as your own security blanket and will comfort you with the scent of Downy fabric softener. This comes topped with the cutest bear-themed sprinkles and a teddy bear charm. May Flower Power SemiFloam Slime: Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch Mike Brady, a widowed architect with three sons meets and falls in love with Carol Brady who has three daughters. The rest is literal history. Who doesn’t know about the iconic Brady family. The only steps in his giant house were, of course, the stairs. Mike Brady was voted several times as the media's best dad, and he certainly was the grooviest. In his honor, we are celebrating Father’s Day with May Flower Power SemiFloam Slime. This white glossy slime with a mixture of colorful small foam beads and two flower Firmasof™ charms screams 1970-something and fosters the kind of peace and love found in Mike Brady’s house.